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Thread: Humour Section

  1. #1
    Valters Kinna's Avatar
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    Default Humour Section

    Although I am quite new to the public space of veterinary specialists as a first year university student, I couldn't help, but to notice, that this place lacks a prominent joke section (or atleast, I couldn't find one). As I see it, one of the most amazing qualities of veterinary medicine and its' specialists is the ability to cut jokes about ourselves and it would be quite awesome to have a special place for that. There everyone could post the best jokes they know with regards to veterinary and also share interesting stories from life in their profession, which I am sure, many if not all of the vets have

    Let us all ease our day-to-day burdens and overcome the dryness of the mind with our dear friend and saviour - Humour

    So, in short, my suggestion for the administrators is to create a seperate Humour section somewhere in forum, where they find it most appropriate. Also, it could be helpful to mention to post only fairly ethical jokes, or to write some short rules or pricipals of etiquette within the section or something like that.

    Thanks!

    Valters
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  2. #2
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    You are still young and a freshman otherwise you already would have learned that life is too serious....

    You can make a central thread just for jokes in the Social Section or you can create a Group separately...a major section within the index-table would be too much in my opinion, but joking is always fine, so just try it out and we will see how it develops.
    My philosophy for communication:
    Always assume the best and friendliest interpretation of my words that you can, I have no reason to be a rude dude at all, except you force me to!


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  3. #3
    Valters Kinna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    You're right, ofcourse, but it's also true that humour always helps and life is mostly as tough as your mind chooses to believe

    Thanks! I shall get down to it with the next wave of inspiration!
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  4. #4
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    I would like a humour thread where you can put cartoons and stories.
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    Just start one and everybody can join....
    My philosophy for communication:
    Always assume the best and friendliest interpretation of my words that you can, I have no reason to be a rude dude at all, except you force me to!


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  7. #6
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    This whole forum seems to me a joke. . . I can't download anything. . Their are rules made to prevent online piracy . . . But except vets who would be interested in veterinary educational videos journals etc.Nobody has got that much time to be online always and to gain points so that you would become a registered member. . . I find this extremely annoying.
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  8. #7
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    Then just let me make you laughing being banned for a month! Or perhaps forever...at least next time you start bothering!

    But letīs say that we just make forever right now...as you are faking your IP and origin.
    Last edited by Vetaqua; 8th March 2012 at 05:06 AM.
    My philosophy for communication:
    Always assume the best and friendliest interpretation of my words that you can, I have no reason to be a rude dude at all, except you force me to!


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  9. #8
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    I like the fact that the moderators have a sense of humor and talk a bit of smack a s well.
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  10. #9
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    Quote Originally Posted by mulest1628 View Post
    I like the fact that the moderators have a sense of humor and talk a bit of smack a s well.
    Only to those who deserve (better said explicitly earned) or desperately beg for it....

    The Masochist says:

    BEAT ME! PLEAAAASE!

    And the Sadist replies:

    No!
    My philosophy for communication:
    Always assume the best and friendliest interpretation of my words that you can, I have no reason to be a rude dude at all, except you force me to!


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  11. #10
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him. "Hey look, I'm a vet - *I* don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions. I can tell what's wrong just by looking." She smugly added, "Why can't you?" The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said,"There you are. Of course, if *that* doesn't work, we'll have to have you put to sleep."
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  12. #11
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting witha long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which theyhad a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady's voice. "Yes, it is", replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?" "Well, sort of", said the elderly lady, "there's a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can'tget to sleep. What can I do about it?" There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patientlyreplied "Open the window and tell them they're wanted on the phone" "Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that will that stop them?" "Should do," said the vet, "- IT STOPPED ME!"
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    All day long Bob had been feeling guilty. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't forget. The guilt and sense of betrayal overwhelmed him. Every once in a while though he could hear a quiet inner voice reassuring him, "Bob, don't worry about it. You are not the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you certainly won't be the last." Then, invariably though, another voice would bring him back to reality, "Bob, you are a veterinarian."
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    A rancher needed a bull to service his cows but had to borrow the
    money from the bank to do so. The banker who lent the money came bya week later to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complainedthat the bull just eats grass and won't even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull. The next week the banker returned to see if the vet had helped. The farmer looked very pleased. "The bull has serviced all my cows, broke through the fence, and has serviced all my neighbor's cows too!" "Wow," says the banker, "what did the vet do to that bull?". "Just gave him some pills," replied the farmer. "What kind of pills?" asked the banker. "I don't know," says the farmer, "but they sort of tasted like peppermint."
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    A man riding out in the bush fell from his horse and broke his leg.He was a long way out, so the situation looked pretty grim. Then the horse grabbed the man's belt in his teeth and dragged him to the shade of a nearby tree. He made the man as comfortable as he could and then galloped off to get help. The man discussed the incident a few weeks later with a friend, who--very impressed--praised the horse's intelligence. "He's not so smart," said the animal's owner. "He came back with a vet."
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    A woman has a dog who snores in his sleep and keeps her and her husband awake at night. She goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testiclesand he will stop snoring. Of course, the woman is very skeptical in believing this and goes home. A few hours after going to bed, the dog is snoring as usual. Finally, getting very frustrated, she goesto the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon, ties it around the dog's testicles and, sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed. Later that night, her husband returns from being out with his friendsand he is very drunk. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoringvery loudly. The woman is desperate and thinks maybe the ribbon will workon him. She goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon and ties iton her husband's testicles. Amazing, it also work on him. The woman falls asleep again and sleeps very soundly. The next morning, the husband wakes up very hung over. He stumbles into the bathroom to urinate. As he is standing in front of the toilet,he looks in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his testicles.He is very confused. He walks back into the bedroom and sees a red ribbonto his dog's scrotum. He looks at the dog and says, "Boy, I don't remember what the heck happened last night, but where ever you and I where, we got first andsecond place."
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring. After a few moments a technician came to her co-worker's defence. "Sir...Do you know what happens to aggressive males in this office??"
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    My roommate works at the local animal shelter. Since we live here in the progressive town of Chapel Hill, this animal shelteractually has an emergency rescue service for animals, replete with a special van outfitted with animal carriers as well as an around-the-clock hot line used to dispatch volunteers at any timeof the day or night. Volunteers are typically assigned shifts oftwo or three day stretches -- such as weekends -- and carry a beeper and a mobile phone so that they can be easily reached. Anyway, recently my roommate was talking with another volunteer, whom I'll call "Hugh". Hugh related that he was on duty one weekend and got a call in the early evening from a woman saying that her dog had been hit by a car. Hugh hurriedly drove the van over there to see a small pooch cavorting happily around the lawn. Hugh stopped the animal long enough to give it a quick examination, and could discover no serious injuries -- broken bones, dislocations, signs of internal bleeding, stuff like that. The only thing he found was a small cut on the dog's lip. He released the dog, which went back to playing, and he told thewoman that there didn't appear to be any serious injuries and that the dog looked fine. The woman had been somewhat distraught, so Hugh added, "If he starts acting strangely, just let us know and we'll come right back out." The woman thanked him and he left. Apparently, end of story. Not quite. Hugh goes to bed that night, gets awakened at 2 AM by a call. It's the woman. She's concerned about her dog. Hugh asks why. The woman answers, "He's acting sleepy."
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    One hot July day we found this old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry site. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her, and put her ina carrier and took her to the Vet. She had no name so we named her pussy cat. The Vet decided to keep her for a day or so and said he would let us know when we could come and get her. My husband, the complainer said, "OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks." My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. He calls my hubbyEl Cheap-O, and my hubby calls him El Take-O. The next day hubby had an appointment with his Doctor, which is located next door to the Vet. The Doctor's office was full of people waiting to see the Doctor. The door opened and in popped the vet and announces to my hubby, "Your wife's pussy is finally shaved and clean. She now smells like a rose. And by the way, I think she is pregnant. God knows who the father is!"
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    Default Re: Humour Section

    Mrs. Bronson's kitty isn't feeling well - a bad case of constipation. She takes it to the vet, who gives her a new kind of laxative. "Give her about six teaspoons of this, and she'll be better in no time." Mrs. Bronson does as she's told and returns a week later. The vet asks, "How's your calf?" "I don't have a calf. It was my cat who wasn't feeling well." "Well, how's your cat doing?" "I'm not sure. The last time I saw her, she was heading toward the north end of town with ten other cats. Five were digging, three were covering, and two were scouting for new territory."
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